Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
