Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
