I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
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