My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Randomize
