I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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