areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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