she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
