Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
