Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
