He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
