somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize