Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
