did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
