ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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