I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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