Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize