She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
