there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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