I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
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