I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
