i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
