So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
