Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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