I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Houston, we have a squirter
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
