Sry I called you an 8
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
