man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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