LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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