So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Randomize
