Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Houston, we have a squirter
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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