i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
