I want to stick my p in your. b.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
