i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
