I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
did i walk over a car last night?
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Randomize
