dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Randomize
