Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Randomize
