Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
