I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
