You don't have asthma, your pregnant
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
