I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
