A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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