i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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