You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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