quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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