things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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