"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
