Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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