Well douche your snatch and let's go!
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
