I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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