This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
