This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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