Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize