bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I'm too high and old for this...
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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