So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
