He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
