what day is it and did you see me today?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
