She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
