So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
