You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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