what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
