He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
