Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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