I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize