i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
