Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
