If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
