there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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