who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
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